Mental Health Monday #28: How suicide affects surviving siblings, Joe Budden on mental health in rap, etc.

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Good day, best friend. Welcome to another round of Mental Health Monday, your weekly dose of stories, resources, and motivation for your everyday life. On last week's edition, writerly Wonder Woman and co-host of the Cinema Bun Podcast opened up about why Lion King brings her joy, how her creative pursuits impact her mental health, and the importance of a solid support system. Have a gander

Today, Joe Budden had a moment while discussing mental health in rap after watching Styles P from The Lox discuss his daughter's suicide, a story from a woman who broke up with her white therapist, the effects of suicide on surviving siblings, and more. 

THIS WEEK'S GOODNESS:

"Instead of Killing Myself, I Called a Suicide Hotline" by Joel Leon [Medium]

 She asks your name and she tells you hers and you hope she knows she saved your life, that all that was needed was someone to not want from you, to not want to take anything from you; not to demand or question you or your thoughts or your actions; only giving, only offering, only loving.

"After A Suicide, Sibling Survivors Are Often Overlooked" by Cheryl Platzman Weinstock [NPR]

Until recently, these survivors often fell under the radar. They were overlooked in medical research, and no one understood what they were going through or how to support them. But, according to several studies of survivors, those who lose a sibling to suicide, especially one of the same sex or close in age, have more serious mood disorders and thoughts of suicide themselves than survivors who lose a sibling for any other reason.

"Why I Left My White Therapist" by Chaya Babu [Tonic]

"So how does it feel talking about this with me, a white woman?" Rachel* asked, catching me a little off guard.

It was the end of our session, and she sat perched on the edge of her chair, signaling that our 45 minutes was wrapping up, which I usually gleaned from her glances at the clock. By "this," she meant my increasing sense of chronic fear as a woman of color in Trump's America.

On her podcast "Talking Off The Couch," Dallas, TX-based Licensed Professional Counselor Tatiana Smith discusses the violence in Charlottesville and keeping it together in its wake. 

"Filmmaker Elyse Fox Launched Sad Girls Club to Give Women a Space for Mental Health Support" by Corrina Allen

“A life with depression is my ‘norm,’” explains Fox. “I would describe my time with it as a journey of confusion and ups and downs. Thankfully, I think I’ve somewhat locked down what my ‘depression cycle’ looks like. I don’t really focus on the negative stigma, but it was something that made it difficult for me to speak out about. I’ve learned to live openly and focus on how to love every part of myself.”

"8 Online Alternatives That Are Cheaper Than Traditional In-Person Therapy" by Gretchen Hintze [Mighty]

According to therapist listing site Goodtherapy.org, most therapists charge between $75 to $150 per session with some charging as much as $200. Since most therapists recommend you see them once a week, therapy, while worth it, can quickly get expensive, ranging from $300 to $600 per month — although the cost may be less if you have insurance.

But luckily, a growing number of online platforms offer therapy that can be more affordable and just as affective for people looking for someone to talk to.

"Constant Anxiety Won't Save the World" by Julie Beck [The Atlantic]

Studies show that anxiety can interfere with decision-making and working memory. “Excessive worry can lead to fatigue, lack of concentration, and muscle tightness,” Woodruff says. “The interesting thing is the fatigue and lack of concentration are the opposite of what people are trying to promote when they’re advocating for vigilance.”

Previous Mental Health stuff:

"Mental Health Monday #27: Tonja Renée Stidhum on Lion King standom, the joy of creating, and the power of a support system"

"Mental Health Monday #25: Audra McDonald's Suicide Attempt, Prodigy on Sickle Cell, Not Just Praying About It, etc."

"I Have Depression. I Am Not Ashamed"

Want to share your mental health story? Have some thoughts on self-care, trauma, therapy, or anything else concerning mental and emotional wellness? Send it our way!

Mental Health Monday #27: Tonja Renée Stidhum on Lion King standom, the joy of creating, and power of a support system

they’re always there for me when I’m feeling insecure, when I get that impostor syndrome and am like, “I’m in this room and shouldn’t be here.” They’re like, “Yes, bitch, you should.”

Oh Snap! We're finalists for the 2017 Podcast Awards

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You did it. 

Thanks to your texts, smoke signals, prayers, and votes we're finalists in the Society - Culture category for this year's People's Choice Podcast Awards. Thank you to everyone who's listened, subscribed, told someone about us, or enjoyed an episode of our podcast situation. It's been a helluva year and getting this award would be the icing on the cake. Now, a squad of 350 listeners will gather round and vote on a winner in each category. Will our Black excellence, wit, and wonderfulness charm the judges? We'll just have to wait and see.

In the meantime, be sure to listen and subscribe to The Extraordinary Negroes on your podcast platform of choice and follow us on the Internets.

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You're so pretty.

What's Your Story?

I found pieces of a free writing session with one of my besties, Bonique’a, from 2012.  It ostensibly started with her asking me, “What’s your story?” and morphed into an introspective jumble of something else.  I have shared the beginning of this poem in some other things I’ve written, including my forthcoming novel.  Somehow though, I ignored the gems sprinkled throughout the end of the writing session.  Here I present the reworked free write spawned by my bestie who always keeps me thinking and digging deeper.  Thanks, girl.

story (poem)

I like to tell folks I don’t have a story

But I also like to fuck with people

That in itself tells a story.

You confused yet?

Good, now we have something in common

I think that’s how friendships begin.

Not sure if I can maintain it but that’s part of the story too

Pay attention to the details

That’s where the angels are for me

 

I live in devilish broadstrokes

Details are the only way the good creeps in

Giving the true life to the picture

Details are what fill funeral obituaries

Speaking of obituaries…

When I exit this world

I mean exeunt this world

-I am plural-

2 paragraphs can’t hold me

But I digress

Duality

2 of me

Literally in a figurative kinda way

Confusing?

Good.

Want to be consistent.

Craving to be consistent.

Trying for 37 years to tuck in a chain of normalcy

To ward off the thieves of despair and frenetic madness

 

Stolen goods can be replaced.

But how about the bad that no one cared to burgle

Kept bads never seem to get displaced

Instead they are displayed permanently on mantles

Dismantling yet another plank of sanity

 

Isn’t insanity just the outside half sibling of sanity?

The one no one bothers with?

 

The ugly one.

The one we’d rather not discuss?

Daddy’s indiscretion.

The family secret.

The whisper.

Do you know the feeling of going through as the inaudible glitch.

an aberration.

But maybe that’s my story.

The one told in hushed tones in back rooms.

Reposted with permission from In My Mental Mind.

 

Alise Leslie is a poet, author, blogger, spoken-word artist, and mental health advocate currently residing in Durham, NC. She writes at the blog, “In My Mental Mind: a black girl’s mental health journey," focusing on mental health issues, particularly for women and men of color, through essays, personal stories, poetry, and music.  Her lipstick game is most likely better than yours. 

More AliseIn My Mental Mind | Facebook | Twitter 

Mental Health Monday #25: Audra McDonald's suicide attempt, Prodigy on sickle cell, not just "praying about it," etc.

Howdy, homeslice. Hopefully your stomach and spirit are full and you're soaring despite ruinous hateration in the dancerie. Welcome to another round of Mental Health Monday, your weekly dose of stories, resources, and motivation for your everyday life. On last week's edition, contributor Synitta Walker revealed her longterm battle with depression, declaring that she's not ashamed, dammit. And before that Jamond Coaston-Foree reflected on the importance of taking mental health days off from work to get you shit together. Check it out here.  

THIS WEEK'S GOODNESS

"“I Slit My Wrists”: Audra McDonald On Surviving Past Suicide Attempt And What Keeps Her Strong Today" by Victoria Uwumarogie [Madame Noire]

In an interview with Alec Baldwin for his WNYC podcast, Here’s the Thing, McDonald discussed life after leaving Fresno, Calif. for New York to study classical voice at Juilliard. Her instructors wanted her to focus on singing opera and she had a different path she wanted to go on. Because of that, she struggled in her coursework and found herself battling depression. The star, in her early twenties, over her experience by her junior year and in an unhealthy relationship, was pushed to the brink.

"After Years of Daily 'Wake 'n' Bakes' I Faced My Battle with Psychological Weed Addiction" by Kitty Gray [VICE]

In recent years, the negative effects of smoking, for me, have begun to outweigh the positive. You may have heard the claim that weed makes you a wee bit stupider? Well, my memory has started to fail me. I have endless amazing story ideas when I'm high (I know, I know, every stoner makes this claim, BUT IT'S TRUE). The ideas, of course, evaporate as quickly as they materialize. My once-robust vocabulary has dwindled, and with it, my self-confidence.

"For Black Women Battling Depression: "Strong On The Outside, Dying On The Inside" [Exclusive Excerpt]" [Black Doctor]

Okay, so let’s deal with this strong Black woman thing. As Black women, we take great pride in our ability to bear the burdens of our children, families, communities and sometimes our entire race without stumbling or falling, no matter the weight that is pressed on us. After all, we endured the vicious passage from our ancestral homeland of Africa to the shores of America, the Caribbean and Europe; survived the horrors and brutality of slavery; persevered through segregation and discrimination; and achieved unprecedented economic, political and educational heights against all odds.

"I don’t need to “pray about it,” I need to go to therapy" by Maya Williams [The Tempest]

I have struggled with anxiety and depression, and I would experience it worse when people would say things like:

“It’s all in your head. God doesn’t give you more than you can handle.”

I find this very problematic because I find this statement to be bull crap. I believe God has given me a lot of things that I couldn’t handle. If I could handle it, why would I experience it in the first place? However, I do believe that God doesn’t give me anything He cannot fix. I believe He is always to fix things that I can’t.

"Gratitude Lists Are B.S. — It Was an "Ingratitude" List That Saved Me" by Liz Brown [Good Housekeeping]

For years I'd been listening to well-intentioned people who told me to be grateful for how lucky I was — to count my blessings, to make gratitude lists, to think of all of the people who had it so much worse than me, to smile though my heart was breaking, to have a better attitude. What they didn't realize was that while these practices were helpful for many people, in my case they made me ashamed to be honest about how bad I was feeling and work through that pain.

"I Love the Freelance Life, But It’s Taking a Toll on My Mental Health" by Cinnamon Janzer [NY Mag]

Considering that the gig economy is expected to double in the next four years — bringing the total of nontraditional American workers to roughly 9.2 million by 2021 — more and more people will be exposed to the work conditions that beget the mental-health issues that freelancers like these women and myself experience. How society and policymakers adapt to these changes “will be essential,” Ertel notes, for shaping a gig economy that is both productive and healthy.

Last week, Alex joined a squad of practitioners and advocates on a panel at the Human Rights Campaign in Washington, DC to close out Minority LGBTQ Mental Health Awareness Month. His section begins at about the 42 minute mark.

Would you like to tell your mental health story? Do you have a mental health-related article, video, event, or other content we should know about? Hit us up.

Are you a Black mental health professional? Do you know one? Alex is building a hub for Black wellness. Learn how you can be down.