I Want To Live, Not Survive

Shawn, post-election.

Shawn, post-election.

I don't know about ya'll, but last Tuesday's election hit me hard. I mean, "James Evans died in Alaska" or "Ricky was about to go to USC but a Blood in a red Hyundai 'merk'd' him" hard. I didn't go to work. I didn't turn on the TV. I didn't even wash my ass. All I pretty much did was delete Facebook friends and typed "If you didn't vote then you need to STFU" about 217 times.

But now that I'm back with the living I've noticed a lot of people talking about, "We're going to be alright. Black people are strong" or "Our ancestors have been through worse," and even though that might be true, may I be the first to say what a lot of people were probably already thinking, which is: NIGGA, I DON'T WANT TO GO THROUGH ANYTHING LIKE WHAT MY ANCESTORS WENT THROUGH!

No, for real. You can miss me with that, "We gon' be alright" stuff right now. It's a great hook Kendrick used, but there's a reason why he kept rambling about "Luci" and hinting about his alcohol and drug problems in the past because Black pain is real and he needed to self-medicate to cope.

As long as I've been Black, "We gon' be alright" and "It's ok" went hand in hand with Black tragedy, even in movies. Remember "Paid in Full"?

Ace just got pistol whipped, shot in the face, and a family member and friend were murdered. He's lying in the bed talking to Rico and Mitch, and what does Rico say? He told him, "You'll be alright, nigga."

No, nigga, I'm not going to be alright. I just got shot in the face and don't have medical benefits because I'm a cocaine dealer, so I had to go to county!

My point in all this is, don't tell me that we're going to be alright because neither of us know that. To me, even saying, "We're going to be alright" makes me think that you may be suffering from trauma and accept the abuse this country gives you.

And who the hell is "We"? Because "We" sure lost a lot of Black folks during those troublesome times.


Shawn William is lyrically handsome and probably much taller than ya baby's father.  Addicted to Blistex, French toast & drama. Once got busy in a Burger King bathroom.

Favorite movie quote "Shorty can't eat no books, dog."

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